
A few years ago I heard a speaker talk about redwood trees. He mentioned how the redwoods, giants of the forest, had shallow roots. Surprising, considering that those Ent-like beasts of beauty can reach up to 375 feet. There is no taproot, but the roots can spread out 50-80 feet from the base of the tree. One of the things that makes the redwoods special is that they intertwine their roots systems. They lean and depend on one another in some ways. That is the only way that they can hold themselves together. That is how they support themselves – by helping to support others. Single redwoods simply don’t happen often because their roots can’t hold up the massive weight of the tree.
And this is how I feel about recovery and to a large extent, the blogging world. I started as a lone wolf, just trying to carve out thoughts on blank bark here and while it served a purpose at the time, I knew that reaching out and being a part of a greater community was where I would truly grow. And that I have done and continue to do. With everyone’s help and guidance and support and love, I continue to learn and grow.
So you can imagine how chuffed I was to be asked to be a part of this blog tour thingy (I’m technical in talk, as you can see) that’s going around these her parts. It’s not an award (I’m BPA and award-free here, and we haven’t had termites in ages), but an ongoing open project so to speak that gives bloggers a chance to share their writing process with others and in turn tag others to share as well.
I want to thank the lovely and talented Karen at Mended Musings for tapping me on the shoulder for this one. If you don’t know Karen or her work, please make your way on over there. Now. I’ll wait. Where once her fine work leaned more to the recovery side, she’s blown the doors open in the last year or so and has crafted beautiful, thought-provoking (and Freshly Pressed!) posts that allows her light to shine, on all sorts of topics. She’s as kind and unselfish a person as I have met out here. She’s a self-described Heart Teller, and always look forward to her work. Her latest is heartbreaking, harrowing and yet hopeful. And one of my new favourites from her – The Flashback.
Now to answer some questions.

What am I working on?
I don’t have a project, per se. I have a novel that I am supposed to be working on, but I have clearly decided that running is more important to me that the book right now. And that’s okay. I parked that book ages ago once the booze bug bit me and recently took a month long shot at it 9the book, not boozing), got some good work done on it, and then…nothing. Story of my life – binge efforts on everything and then move on to the next shiny thing!
So this blog is my main focus. I do write articles for my old treatment center’s newsletter, and I have been asked to do some other one-off writing things, some of it even paid, but the blog is where I butter my bread. In a non-culinary way, of course (the screen wouldn’t hold up to all that saturated fat). In fact, you can say this post is what I am working on right now. But by the time you read this, it will have been done, so does that mean I am still working on it? I just hurt my brain thinking about that. So next…
How does my work differ from others in its genre?
In terms of recovery blogs, it’s not too different from the others. I must say that I am fairly consistent in talking about how it was, what happened and what it’s like now. And I am always trying to hit recovery from where I’m at (whether I am at a healthy place or not), and try not to preach. I have to admit that I have painted myself in a bright green neon corner in terms of content . I rarely stray from recovery talk and yet I feel that I am pretty open to whatever comes.
I think that the blog does try to be inclusive, even though I come at things from a 12-step background. To me this is not about counting days or months, or talking about how I’m rebounding physically, or anything like that. If i started this bad boy up from Day 1, I would probably would have talked about all that stuff. Today, it’s about the journey within. It’s about connecting. It’s about getting plugged into the juice and living life in a way that never occurred to me before. About making contact with the Maker and sharing my missteps and blunders, my small victories and thoughts. It’s how I share. Using what works best for me – words.
Oh, and pictures. I put lots of silly, goofy pictures up around here.

Why do I write/create what I do?
There’s a pull in everyone to do something that seems to complete them. Whether it be a small thing or a thing that takes them to Jules Verne-type leagues, we have an inner compulsion to move towards much needed soul food. Writing for me is that nourishment. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, nor can I carry a tune even if it had a handle on it. I can’t carve a turnip out of a turnip or do anything more crafty than glue sprinkle onto a piece of construction paper. But in terms of creative outlets, writing has always been my vehicle. Not that it comes flawlessly to me, but when I have my fingers on home row, I truly am home. I don’t feel bound or held under water. It’s like I have wings.
Now when I abandoned my writing (I used to write short fiction), it was like my spirit was anaesthetized – and it was, with spirits. My one form of confession and sanctity was cut off, and that pushed me further into the darkness. It wasn’t until many months after I got sober that I was able to feel that twitch again, that drawing near to the Creator. I was still gun shy about writing, so it was easier to segue into it by sharing my personal recovery thoughts. It wasn’t about entering writing contests or hoping to get published by a lit mag. It was about cracking open the vault and letting the stuff fly. About reconnecting with my authentic self.
This blog is a way to tell on myself, to challenge myself, to shine the mirror on myself and to show others that it’s not that scary. It serves me be of service because this is how I draw from the well of other people’s experiences and strength. I create because I can and touching that place is drawing on what has been given to us – that thing in us that we can share without fear of failing…ordained to be shown.
How does my writing/creating process work?
My process comes from the seed of something planted within that I just allow to germinate and come to some fruition. Sometimes the thoughts choke themselves out and it slips away. Other times a singular thought brings me to many until I get a fuzzy sort of picture of what I want to share. It’s funny, I find that precisely every four days, I get that itch to produce. Sometimes it might be a day early or late, but it seems that 96 hours is my threshold of holding back the dam.
I don’t plan my posts like some bloggers do. I don’t research when the “optimum” time to post is. I post when I post. I hit the blue publish button with hesitancy each time, unsure of what I am sending out, but I know that it’s meant to be, regardless of the final product.
I find that no matter how much I “write” in my head, the magic doesn’t happen until I sit back and have my digits on the keypad. Stuff flows out from corners unseen. That’s where I am at my calmest, and most frenetic. That’s where I touch the unconscious. And it touches me.
Editing? I wish! I need to edit my words. I was a ruthless editor when I wrote fiction, but for some reason I don’t edit much here. Not sure why. Just seems to be more stream of conscious at times, methinks. But I have been aware of keeping length of the posts down, and have stuck to under 2,000 words. Which is still a lot. So sue me.
Okay, enough about me. Here’s the folks you really need to be reading.
1) Kristen at Bye Bye Beer was one of the first people I followed when I was a newbie here on the scene. She wrote in a way that I could really identify with, both as an alcoholic and as a work-in-progress. She made me laugh and had a way with words. Still does. What I admire in Kristen’s writing is just how it flows and shows so much by saying so little. She writes in a way that I wished I could. If I wasn’t so enamoured by her style and personality, I would be jealous. I love her soulful, holistic and yet tactile approach to her life and her journey. Her works have matured into observations of her world and her place in it. This isn’t just about saying Adios Pilsner, but of showing the afterglow of a life lived well. One post that seems to have stuck with me:
2) Gina at Dawning on a New Day is very thoughtful and thorough in her writings. She comes from a place of being centered and of gratitude. I am attracted to the spirit behind her words and how she gently weaves through the nuances of her heart and places them right on the page. While she does speak of recovery, she often speaks of writing of family, of issues that speak to her. She is a “real” writer and I am so blessed to have crossed paths with her. A pleasure to read. One of my favourite pieces:
Stories Told by Mack Trucks and Planes Soothe the Recesses of My Heart
3) Allie at And Everything Afterwards is new to the recovery blogging scene, and after reading her for a bit, I started to notice that her writing seemed to shift into new and different territory. Always a good thing. I am impressed by her strong writing voice, her emotional temperament and her ability to craft a tale. I always look forward to her posts, and always seem to find another layer to her work after re-reading it. She speaks honestly, with grace, with humour, with poignancy. Always ringing true to her self. One of her finest:
…so that we were able to draw up to the fire and repair some of the damages of the day’s living
Now stop lollygagging around here and start reading those posts!
You continue to amaze and inspire me, Paul. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that I was working on my blog tour post today, too. Then I saw a shiny object, another idea popped into my head and I was off to write something different.
So fascinating that you wrote fiction, too. Can we see some? I think you’d be naturally good. Your words always flow like a poet, make me think and I absolutely love the bits and pieces of light hearted humor you inflect at just the right times.
And the redwoods…such a perfect analogy…I think we’ve discussed before.
Thanks for pointing us to some really great writers. Happy to see our own Kristen in the mix…her Lichen post is one of my favorites, too.
Bravo!
Thank you for sharing your process and thoughts with us 🙂
Yes, thank you very much Paul.. you rock xxx
Well, you got me at Redwoods. Having grown up on 14 acres of Redwoods, I can honestly say you taught me something I never knew – about their whole dependent root system! Amazing the things we take for granted when they’re right in front of us. Loved reading about your writing process – I could relate to much of it, especially the part of it getting buried while drinking. Ugh. To think of all that sweet time we wasted away – but then we wouldn’t be here. All is good.
I always look forward to seeing the pictures in your posts. The Wendy’s one tickled me. These days I dream of dropping out and making fancy salads and Frosties.
You used to write short fiction??! How did I not know this? Why haven’t I read any? More information is needed.
Thank you for the very sweet, super kind mention. It’s the kind of thing I would clip and carry around in my pocket, except that’s what smart phones are for. It’s a little embarrassing how good your words made me feel. Thank you. And now I have two new blogs to check out. Thank you again.
I’ll post my own blog tour thingie next week. Already thinking who to tag. I like this exercise because it’s about how and why we write, something we’re all obviously a little in love with.
Thanks Paul, you’re the best.
Paul I loved your analogy. I spent the first 10 years of my life in California and every time we visited the Redwood forest, I felt an energy there that was comforting. Your analogy reminded me of something Steinbeck wrote:
~John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America
We could change the world in a profoundly wonderful way if we were as evolved and advanced as the Redwoods.
I love reading about how your mind works! I agree that it’s all about the journey within which when shared, connects us. Thank you for letting me tag you and for your incredibly kind introduction. I follow Kristen and Allie and can’t wait to get to know Gina!
Hi Karen! I read your post and loved it=) Looking forward to getting to know you too! Xx
Paul, what I love most about your blogging is the honesty, compassion and vitality I take away every time I read a post. I know you mentioned you mostly focus on your blog but I’m sure your readers already knew that… at least I did=) I sense it provides a great meaning to your life as you continue to grow and share your enlightenment in sobriety with the rest of us.
I loved when you wrote, “Writing for me is that nourishment. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, nor can I carry a tune even if it had a handle on it. I can’t carve a turnip out of a turnip or do anything more crafty than glue sprinkle onto a piece of construction paper.” And that’s just it, my friend… writing breathes life into our hearts and minds. It keeps us focused and determined… not just on the story, but on EVERYTHING. We are creators, almost like the One above (well, maybe not almost but just enough=). We follow in His footsteps as we use our gift to help change the lives of others. I’ve only known you for a little less than a year but I’m already a better person because of this.
Keep running, stay true to yourself and one day, I hope you get that book going. And I mean GOING=) I never thought I could write a novel until I sat down in the wee hours of the morning and just let the fingers, mind and heart go at each other. I think you have a great story to tell, Paul. And if not a novel, then at least we will always have the messages in a bottle beautifully written by you=)
Hey Paul
Wow, I feel like I know you more now that we’ve talked. Listen, you are an amazing writer. I love your posts, sincerity, passion, talent. Now if I could only have a fraction of your talent I would be jumping off the walls happy.
Great to read more about your creative side and process Paul. And so glad I’ve had the blessing of being able to have just a tiny taste of what you have to offer us here on wordpress.
Bless you and big hugs from the southern hemisphere.
Love from one Silva to another.
🙂
My running has become my priority The new shiny thing? Maybe. I worry sometimes that it has become the new drug of choice, but that’s part of why I have a coach and a training plan — to keep me coloring inside the lines.
I don’t really write as much about my recovery anymore, but it is a huge part of me. My first blog was all recovery stuff and it helped me so much to write every little detail of what I was struggling through and feeling less alone. It’s been fantastic for me to have discovered bloggers like you who share so many interests and are walking a similar path.
Dude, you’re awesome. Thanks so much for being a warm, welcoming, supportive part of this community. You’ve helped me feel nothing but welcome.
Hey Man,
I saw your blog in my email days ago, I think I missed one too? So I am now catching up. Than you go and offer all these other links to writers I have to check out!! This could keep me busy for days.
One thing we learn in recovery is we are not alone. The reaching out our roots or knowing our roots are intertwined with others for support is a life message I did not receive when under the influence and even ego got it the way for a long time…
I love you humorous approach to all of this, to your recovery, to your writing, etc. Which is what makes reading your blog so much fun. You would be great to listen to at a meeting!!!
Thank you Paul!
Eloquent, as always. I find it interesting how we tend to see the mass of anything (aka end result), but rarely do we understand the depth of thought, time, and energy and went into the creation of that “thing.” Whether a gold medal or a redwood, (lasting sobriety) the end result took effort.
Like your other readers, I am indebted to you and your writing. Your roots extend far and draw many of us close who may not be in touch otherwise. My love. Lisa
ps… I am too far behind on my reading to have to admit that I like the look of the site now of days. xox
Beautiful. I live in California, and I had no idea Redwoods were so mutually supportive. So you’re saying that might have something to do with their ability to reach prehistoric gigantic size. Makes sense.
Bravo boy, on that tour thingy, and kudos to Karen at Mended Musings for giving you the tippy-tap.
Paul, you are born writer. A writer’s writer. At least this writer’s writer and I think I’m pretty picky.
I think you edit your own stuff just fine. I don’t see you needing any word-count Nazi breathing down your neck, because you got flow, bro. There’s a relaxed conversational ease to your work that I envy. I mean, I can pull-off a relaxed conversational ease in my stuff, too. I just have to spend weeks tediously torturing my words into compliance.
(These last two paragraphs took me over four days to write)
See what I mean?
And lest anyone forget, content counts. You always have something valid to say. Some interesting insight to impart. Some gem you’ve combed from the mud of modern recovery. Some important reminder for those climbing up out of the crater. You’ve spiked and flagged some loose landslide rocks along the way. Mapped potential hazards. Pointed out breath-taking vistas.
Sometimes that takes more words, than say, reviewing a Tijuana foam bar’s Wednesday ladies’ night.
And yeah, maybe some drunk counting off the days until his hands stop shaking isn’t going to appreciate all that you have to offer. But that’s not to say they too wouldn’t glean something from it. “DO YOU LIKE FUNNY PICTURES! LOOK, FUNNY PICTURES!” Hand them another candy bar. “SOBRIETY GOOD!”
I just think to really be able to drink the message fully from this bottle, you have to wait until most of the smoke has cleared. After all, you take on big things, Paul. Big thingies.
But you always seem to cover the basics, too. And it NEVER comes off preachy or pedantic. Ever.
You think I’d hang out at some preachy pedantic blog? Please, Paul.
Nah, you got the touch. The magic fingers. They know how to massage the typer just right. Tickle the tummy with laughs, then skillfully bring it all to a happy ending.
(wow, that went dirty fast. There’s my version of conversational ease creeping in. Back you beast!)
Anyway, my friend, it’s a joy to watch this redwood grow. I like looking up at the sky through it’s branches.
You make the forest an even happier place. Thank you for that.
In mutual recovery,
Marius