Pearls Of Wisdom On Clamming Up

When I was in my teens and early 20’s, I had a small group of guys that I hung out with.  Friends, if you will. We were primarily drinking buddies, but since we had gone to high school together there was that little something that held us together.  When we weren’t hitting it hard at…

Full Of It – My Days As A Hoarder

I don’t watch much TV.  In fact, I rarely watch it – I find my time gravitating towards on-line activities, so an hour of Angry Birds Star Wars and viewing bad 80’s music videos on YouTube constitutes R&R for me these days.  But I had a chance to watch Hoarders last night.  Hoarders, of course, is…

I Release Thee Well

I like clean.  I like a clean house.  I like having an IKEA-type clean house where everything is perfectly aligned and put in it’s proper place.  I like boxes and totes and pull-out drawers that are micro-divided.  I like the idea of having a place to organize paperclips by colour – alphabetically.  This, of course,…

Final Fantasy

There has always been a romanticism surrounding alcohol for me.  There was, at all points in my drinking career, a sense of sophistication and “adult-ness” of drinking.  There was that cabinet by the dining room table that only the grown-ups could open.  Deep conversations and slapping of backs came when you opened up those clear…

Can’t Talk Now, I’m Putting My Halo In With The Delicates

A gentleman sent me a note recently and asked my opinion on selflessness and it’s role in alcoholism – how one could be giving of themselves so much and yet find themselves at odds with others and the tie-in to craving the drink.  It had me thinking about my own initial struggles with those very…

The Ruthless and Savage Act of Being

Many years ago I took up golf.  Like the good alcoholic that I was, in my all-or-nothing mentality, I immersed myself in it.  I watched the Golf Channel, I subscribed to one or two golf magazines, watched golf infomercials with a keen eye, picked up several beginner and advanced golf books, and listened to anyone…

Folding, Unfolding

I’ve never done origami.  It seems fairly intricate and involves a precision that my hands don’t seem fine-tuned enough to tackle.  But there is a beauty and science that permeates through origami, a simplicity that blends art and purpose.  It has been said that origami is bringing out, through folding, the nature of paper which the…

The Place Where I Met Myself

  I rode down the snowy streets, my bike navigating through the slush, reflecting on another day at work, going home.  It was late, the temperature had dipped below zero long before the sun went down and I was looking forward to a snack and a warm couch.  As I hit the halfway point of…

This River I Step in is Not the River I Stand in.

When I was squeaky clean newcomer sober, I had a lot of things going on with me, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  Normal stuff, really.  I had fears spilling out of my ears, mood swings beyond reproach, and questions about this Higher Power that I just hooked up with on a blind date.  Drinking dreams, sudden urges…

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Suicide. The word conjures up many images, many thoughts, many emotions. “It’s a selfish act”, “They were weak”, “Why?” For alcoholics and addicts, it’s something that is on the radar.  It’s a menu item to choose from.  Whereas most people see it as an ultimate, desperate act, for many active alcoholics,  it don’t seem quite…