Tale Wagging The Dog

We all have them. Those stories.  You know the ones – the little tales and fables that we create and tell ourselves over and over again.  And sometimes trumpet to others.  The stories that we act out on.  The ones we rehearse and perform and perfect and groom and preen and fuss over.  The ones…

Who Do You Think You Are?

One of the greatest struggles I have had in my recovery so far is the question of who am I? Or namely, who am I meant to be?  And that is really what it comes down to.  Who am I meant to be, rather than who do I think I should be?  I lived a life…

Brand New All Over Again

This is a piece I wrote a few weeks ago for a treatment center alumni weekly newsletter.  My old treatment center, in fact, and one that I work with on a regular basis.  I wanted to share this here on my blog. She found it while cleaning up. My wife, sorting through some shelves, found…

Clock Watching

I was always concerned about my son. As a baby and infant, he seemed to take a long time to hit the landmarks that they measure the wee ones by.  Or at least, that’s how I felt when I was comparing him to other kids his age.  It took him a while before he walked. …

The Sentencing And The Veil

Friday came with an undertow of a calm anxiety, if one could put it like that.  The boys still needed to have their breakfast and change and play and get walked down to school.  My oldest threw snowballs at me the entire time making our way down to their classes, while the little one laughed….

To My Brothers And Sisters Who Have Relapsed

To my brothers and sisters who have relapsed: You are loved, you are safe, you are protected, you are a child of the Creator, you are where you need to be…you are full of light, even in the midst of darkness. You are important, you are valued, you are human, you are unique, you are…

Playing It By Year

I never intended to write a New Year’s Eve Post.  Just happens that as I write this, we are on the cusp of January.  Our collective dance card is moving along to the next two-stepping pardner (“Scat you old coot – new cowpoke is up next and they’re coming in a bit ornery, like a…

The Pity Patter Of Little Defeats

“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality” John Gardner Self-pity. The word itself (or compound word, at least) alone sounds desolate. The hyphen plays for dramatic pause. Looks wise, the hyphen resembles a metal bar between two heavy weights. A…

You Choo-Choo-Choose Me

“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill; I will choose a path that’s clear I will choose freewill.” RUSH, “Freewill” Sometimes there is something that sticks in my craw,…

Making Right, Not Making Nice

I am in the hospitality trade.  Where I work now, we host many functions – tour groups, weddings, post-convention get togethers, corporate gigs, holiday parties and a slew of other special events. That is on top of several dining outlets that we have in the building.  At this time of year, we do more of…