Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

I have been feeling rather shitty lately. Not the kind of bummed-out-that-my-team-didn’t-win-last-night type of shitty, but the kind where your wife asks you, in a light-hearted way, if you are going to pick up again or worse, harm yourself. The type that duct tapes a black garbage bag over you while submerged in alien snot-slime…

The Pity Patter Of Little Defeats

“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality” John Gardner Self-pity. The word itself (or compound word, at least) alone sounds desolate. The hyphen plays for dramatic pause. Looks wise, the hyphen resembles a metal bar between two heavy weights. A…

I Expect You To Read This

I’ve done it again. There you were,  seamlessly switching between The History of The Stapler on Discovery, playing Mega Extreme Chinese Checkers online and munching on your fourth tepid tofu taquito, when BOOM!  There it was – I put an expectation on you.  Huh?  Where did that come from, you ask, licking the lumpy guac…

Disservice With A Smile

I am not a fighter.  I don’t know the sensation of what it is like to hit another person in an angry fashion.  I don’t know how it is to knock a tooth out , or the feeling of someone’s jawbone crack underneath my knuckles.  I have never had to roundhouse kick my way out…