I love God Shots.
You know God Shots – those almost perfect events that unfold in a way that are utterly incapable of being orchestrated by any one in any way, no matter how hard they try. It’s fact greater than fiction. They’re those things that plop right into your lap when you’re least expecting it and which give you the shivers and goosebumps when they happen.
I had a God shot today, and it was, of course, timed exactly when I needed it.
I was meditating this morning, and through the soft smoke of burning sage and the barely audible music, I had found my center, my zone. It’s sort of the “sweet spot” I get to where I am between thoughts, as they say, where I am able to get centered. Today I heard something say “Primary Purpose”. And that was it. Now, to those who are not of AA, “Primary Purpose” is referred to in the 5th tradition, which states : “Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers”. This refers to how our groups are there solely for the newcomer and/or still suffering alcoholic and that is our ultimate goal – to pass the message of hope on to the next person.
For me, working with newcomers is where I get a lot of my mojo going. I enjoy working with newbies and it helps my recovery as much, if not more, than their recovery. I have been feeling in a bit of a rut lately in that department, feeling that I haven’t been as giving to others as I should be, and have been praying to have someone new put in my path, someone I can work with.
So, upon hearing those words, “Primary Purpose”, no more than one second passes, and then I hear my phone ring. I had made the rare mistake of leaving my phone on while I meditated, so it disturbed me and I was annoyed. I could hear that a message had been left. So a few minutes later, meditation arrested by my carelessness, I checked my message, and it was my old treatment center – could they give my phone number to a guy that just left treatment and wanted to connect with someone active in recovery?
Boom. God Shot.
I don’t get a lot of God Shots happening as much these days as I used to. I used to get them very often, and quite blatantly. I needed them to happen like that, to have them hit me over the head – because in my grave state, anything subtle or light would have passed right over me like mist and gone without being seen. I needed a lighthouse, not a flashlight. And I got the lighthouse as often as I needed to navigate my way through the dark days.
I can’t remember all the God Shots I have had, but I remember a few – like the time when I was contemplating skipping out on a meeting as I walking home from work, and I accidentally kicked something on the sidewalk. I looked down and saw that I knocked over a vodka bottle – a brand that I usually bought, too. And it wasn’t that the whole sidewalk was rife with debris and I just happened to kick something random – the entire block was spotless except for the mickey that I hit. Alright God, got it…going to my meeting.
It has been my experience that there are no coincidences, that when things like this happen, I am being shown something I can only see when my eyes are open to it, when my heart is cracked through enough to feel it, to sense it and when I ready for it. And how do I keep my eyes open to these tiny miracles? It’s by doing what I need to do to be connected spiritually – I pray, meditate, help others, work the program, talk to newcomers, and live my life according to spiritual principles. No always easy to do – but then again, back in the day and being an active alcoholic and doing everything to block myself from the Sunlight of the Spirit was a lot of work too. And I paid for it dearly. I would have died if I continued to drink the way I did.
Doing the things I need to do is sort of like having and maintaining a compass within me. This compass keeps me pointed to True North, True Self, True Love. It keeps me going in the right direction even when the landscape around me is frightening and I am not sure if I belong there or not. It helps me stay the course, even when I want to stray and find my own way. Finding my own way never worked then, and doesn’t work now. I need guidance. I need to have the arrow tilt towards True North, True Light, True Direction. It keeps me lined up with the Creator’s will, and let’s me know what it is I need to do. And having these God Shots are like beacons, or markers. It’s like asking Him my next step. And I do ask. And I listen. Even when I am confused about the instructions, I listen.
And the great and beneficial thing for me is that I get out of where I like to reside – in comfort. I am guided and gently (or not so gently) nudged to where I am needed next. I know I am off the path because I start getting scratched up and ripped apart from the vines and other harmful brush that lay outside the pebbled path. And the further I get out of my comfort zone, the more I grow. The more I get outside of Self, the more I get closer to Him. And that is what I always sought when I drank – to fill up on the Spirit found within, instead of the spirits found in bottles.
God Shots instead of vodka shots.
And having had both, I can truly say, I love God Shots.